To enhance self esteem we need to understand what is self esteem? According to Seligman, self esteem is ‘your overall evaluation of your worth as a person, high or low, based on all positive and negative self perceptions.
Following are the ways in which you can increase your feeling of self esteem:
- Be Mindful
We must understand and stop blaming ourselves for things we cannot change. Also, if there is something that we want to change, we must recognize it in order to change it. By simply becoming aware of our negative self talk, we begin to distance ourselves from the feeling it brings. Lack of awareness makes it easier pray of our negative thoughts. Allan Lokos says, Don’t believe in everything you think. Thoughts are just that– thoughts.”
One thing you can do is start making gentle notes whenever you find yourself going down the path of self criticism. Remember, “these are thoughts and NOT FACTS.”
2. Change the story
We all have a story we’ve created about ourselves that shapes our perception or self and upon which our core self esteem is based. In order to change that we must understand where it came from and from where we received the messages that we tell ourselves.
We sometimes have automatic negative thoughts like, “you’re fat”, or “you are lazy” that gets repeated in your mind so many times that you start believing it to be true. We must realize that these are learned and thus can be unlearned.
Start with positive affirmations like writing down positive things about yourself in a minute. Research has proved that written positive statements are correlated with great improvement.
3. Avoid falling into the compare-and-despair rabbit hole.
“Two key things I emphasize are to practice acceptance and stop comparing yourself to others,” says psychotherapist Kimberly Hershenson.
Comparisons only lead to negative self-talk, which leads to anxiety and stress. Feelings of low self-worth can negatively affect your mental health as well as other areas in your life, such as work, relationships, and physical health.
4. Channel your inner rock star
“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” says Albert Einstein.
We all have our strengths and weaknesses. Recognize what your strengths are and the feelings of confidence they engender, especially in times of doubt. It’s easy to make generalizations when you “mess up” or “fail” at something, but reminding yourself of the ways you rock offers a more realistic perspective of yourself.
A good painter might not necessarily be a good basketball player as well. But that’s just a part of us and we must embrace it.
Test you Self Esteem with Standard Psychometric Test.
Rosenberg Self Esteem Scale
8 Steps to Improving Your Self-Esteem. (2017). Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/nurturing-self-compassion/201703/8-steps-improving-your-self-esteem