Introduction
Counselling is not only about listening and understanding but also about facilitating meaningful change. While basic listening and responding skills help establish rapport and trust, advanced counselling skills such as challenging, feedback, and self-disclosure play a crucial role in helping clients gain insight, modify unhelpful patterns, and move toward constructive change. These skills must be used carefully, ethically, and at the appropriate stage of counselling.
Nelson-Jones (2000) emphasizes that challenging, feedback, and disclosing skills are powerful interventions that require sensitivity and professional judgment. When used effectively, they encourage self-awareness, responsibility, and growth. This article examines the nature, purposes, techniques, and ethical considerations of challenging skills, feedback skills, and disclosing skills within the counselling process.
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1. Challenging Skills
Challenging skills involve gently and respectfully pointing out inconsistencies, contradictions, or discrepancies in a client’s thoughts, feelings, or behaviors. Challenging is not confrontation in an aggressive sense; rather, it is a supportive process aimed at helping clients see aspects of themselves or their situations that they may be avoiding or unaware of (Nelson-Jones, 2000).
Corey (2008) describes challenging as an intervention that promotes self-examination and responsibility, encouraging clients to consider alternative perspectives and choices.
The primary purposes of challenging skills include:
- Increasing self-awareness
- Highlighting discrepancies between goals and behaviors
- Encouraging personal responsibility
- Reducing denial or avoidance
- Promoting cognitive and behavioral change
Challenging helps clients move beyond surface-level understanding toward deeper insight and action.
Challenging may focus on:
- Incongruence between what clients say and what they do
- Contradictions in beliefs or explanations
- Avoidance behaviors
- Self-defeating patterns
For example, a client may express a desire for change while continuing behaviors that maintain the problem.
Congruence and Incongruence
Techniques of Challenging
The techniques of challenging includes:
- Pointing Out Discrepancies: Counsellors may highlight differences between stated goals and current actions. Example: “You say relationships are important to you, yet you often avoid connecting with others.”
- Immediacy: Immediacy involves focusing on what is happening in the counselling relationship itself. Example: “I notice you become very quiet when we talk about this topic.”
- Gentle Confrontation: Gentle confrontation is delivered with empathy and respect, avoiding blame or judgment (Gladding, 2014).
Effective challenging should:
- Be based on a strong therapeutic relationship
- Be specific and concrete
- Focus on behavior, not personality
- Be offered tentatively rather than authoritatively
- Allow the client to respond and reflect
Challenging too early or too forcefully may lead to resistance or withdrawal (Capuzzi & Gross, 2008).
2. Feedback Skills
Feedback skills involve providing clients with information about their behavior, communication style, or progress in counselling. Feedback helps clients understand how their actions affect themselves and others. According to Gibson and Mitchell (2003), feedback is most effective when it is constructive, timely, and specific.
Feedback differs from advice in that it provides information rather than directives.
Feedback skills serve to:
- Increase self-awareness
- Reinforce positive behaviors
- Identify areas for growth
- Support behavior change
- Encourage responsibility
In group counselling, feedback plays a particularly important role in helping members understand interpersonal impact (Corey, 2008).
Types of Feedback
The types of feedbacks include:
- Positive Feedback: Positive feedback highlights strengths, efforts, and progress. Example: “You handled that situation with much more confidence this time.” Positive feedback reinforces adaptive behaviors and builds self-efficacy.
- Corrective Feedback: Corrective feedback focuses on behaviors that may be unhelpful or ineffective. It must be delivered sensitively to avoid defensiveness (Nelson-Jones, 2000).
Effective feedback should be:
- Specific and behavior-focused
- Descriptive rather than evaluative
- Balanced (strengths and areas for improvement)
- Given with empathy and respect
- Invited or accepted by the client
Kottler and Shepard (2008) emphasize that feedback should never humiliate or control the client.
Ethical feedback respects client autonomy, avoids imposing counsellor values, and is consistent with counselling goals. Cultural sensitivity is essential, as feedback styles may be interpreted differently across cultures (Gladding, 2014).
3. Disclosing Skills
Disclosing skills refer to the counsellor’s intentional and limited sharing of personal information or experiences that may benefit the client. Self-disclosure is used to normalize experiences, model openness, or strengthen the therapeutic relationship (Nelson-Jones, 2000).
Disclosing is not about meeting the counsellor’s needs but about serving the client’s therapeutic goals.
Self-Disclosure
Appropriate self-disclosure can:
- Reduce client feelings of isolation
- Normalize experiences
- Strengthen trust and rapport
- Model healthy coping strategies
- Encourage client openness
However, inappropriate disclosure can shift focus away from the client and harm the relationship.
Types of Self-Disclosure
Types of self-disclosure include:
- Personal Disclosure: Sharing limited personal experiences relevant to the client’s concerns.
- Professional Disclosure: Sharing professional reactions or observations, such as feelings about the counselling process. Example: “I notice I feel concerned when you minimize your struggles.”
Effective self-disclosure should:
- Be brief and relevant
- Be intentional and goal-oriented
- Occur at appropriate times
- Avoid burdening the client
- Respect professional boundaries
Capuzzi and Gross (2008) caution that excessive disclosure may create dependency or role confusion.
Risks of Misusing Advanced Skills
Misuse of challenging, feedback, or disclosing skills may result in:
- Client defensiveness
- Loss of trust
- Emotional harm
- Ethical violations
Therefore, these skills require advanced training, supervision, and self-awareness.
Developmental and Cultural Considerations
Children and adolescents require gentler challenging and more concrete feedback (Berk, 2003; Kapur, 2011). Cultural values influence how challenge and feedback are perceived. Counsellors must adapt interventions to clients’ cultural contexts and developmental levels (Papalia, Olds, & Feldman, 2004).
Integration of Challenging, Feedback, and Disclosing Skills
These skills are most effective when integrated with empathy, listening, and reflection. Nelson-Jones (2000) emphasizes that challenge should occur within a supportive relationship, feedback should empower rather than criticize, and disclosure should always serve the client’s needs.
Conclusion
Challenging, feedback, and disclosing skills are powerful counselling interventions that promote insight, responsibility, and growth. When used ethically and skillfully, they help clients recognize unhelpful patterns, build self-awareness, and move toward meaningful change. These skills require sensitivity, timing, and a strong therapeutic alliance, making them essential components of advanced counselling practice.
References
Berk, L. E. (2003). Child development (6th ed.). Prentice Hall of India.
Capuzzi, D., & Gross, D. R. (2008). Counseling and psychotherapy. Pearson Education.
Corey, G. (2008). Theory and practice of group counseling. Brooks/Cole.
Gibson, R. L., & Mitchell, M. H. (2003). Introduction to counselling and guidance. Pearson Education.
Gladding, S. T. (2014). Counselling: A comprehensive profession. Pearson Education.
Kapur, M. (2011). Counselling children with psychological problems. Dorling Kindersley.
Kottler, J. A., & Shepard, D. S. (2008). Counselling theory and practices. Cengage Learning.
Nelson-Jones, R. (2000). Introduction to counselling skills. Sage Publications.
Papalia, D. E., Olds, S. W., & Feldman, R. D. (2004). Human development. Tata McGraw-Hill.
Niwlikar, B. A. (2025, December 24). 3 Important Skills in Counselling: Challenging Skills, Feedback Skills, and Disclosing Skills. Careershodh. https://www.careershodh.com/skills-in-counselling/