4 Important Micro-Skills: Paraphrasing Skills, Reflecting-Feeling Skills, Listening Mistakes, and Summarizing Skills

Counselling is a structured interpersonal process that relies heavily on the counsellor’s ability to respond effectively to what the client communicates. While listening and questioning help gather information and build rapport, responding skills such as paraphrasing, reflecting feelings, and summarizing enable counsellors to demonstrate understanding and guide clients toward insight. At the same time, awareness of common listening mistakes is essential to avoid barriers to effective communication.

Micro-Skills Counselling

Nelson-Jones (2000) emphasizes that effective counselling responses help clients feel heard, understood, and encouraged to explore their experiences more deeply.

Read More: Counselling Skills

Micro-Skills

Micro-skills in counselling refer to the basic, learnable communication skills that form the foundation of effective helping relationships. These skills include attending, active listening, paraphrasing, reflecting feelings, questioning, summarizing, and appropriate use of silence.

According to Nelson-Jones (2000), micro skills help counsellors communicate empathy, understanding, and respect while facilitating client exploration and insight. Mastery of micro skills enables counsellors to respond accurately to clients’ verbal and non-verbal messages, avoid common communication barriers, and build a strong therapeutic alliance. When used flexibly and ethically, micro skills enhance the overall effectiveness of the counselling process across diverse settings.

1. Paraphrasing Skills

Paraphrasing is the skill of restating the client’s message in the counsellor’s own words while preserving the original meaning. It focuses primarily on the content of what the client has said. Paraphrasing demonstrates attention, understanding, and respect for the client’s experiences (Gibson & Mitchell, 2003).

According to Nelson-Jones (2000), effective paraphrasing helps clients clarify their thoughts, correct misunderstandings, and feel validated in the counselling relationship.

Purposes of Paraphrasing

Paraphrasing serves several important purposes:

• • Shows that the counsellor is listening attentively
  • Encourages clients to elaborate or clarify
  • Organizes scattered or complex information
  • Helps clients hear their own thoughts more clearly

Paraphrasing is particularly useful during the early stages of counselling, when clients are building trust and sharing their concerns.

Guidelines for Effective Paraphrasing

Effective paraphrasing should:

• • Be brief and concise
  • Use the counsellor’s own words, not repetition
  • Avoid interpretation or judgment
  • Match the client’s language and emotional tone

For example, if a client says, “I feel stressed because I have too many responsibilities at home and work,” the counsellor may respond, “You’re feeling overwhelmed trying to manage demands both at work and at home.”

3. Reflecting-Feeling Skills

Reflecting feelings involves identifying and expressing the emotional content underlying the client’s message. Unlike paraphrasing, which focuses on content, reflecting feelings focuses on emotions. This skill helps clients recognize and accept their emotional experiences (Nelson-Jones, 2000).

Reflective Systems

Gelso and Fretz (1995) emphasize that reflecting feelings strengthens empathy and deepens the therapeutic relationship.

Importance of Reflecting Feelings

Reflecting feelings helps:

• • Validate emotional experiences
  • Increase emotional awareness
  • Encourage deeper self-exploration
  • Strengthen the counsellor–client bond

For clients who struggle to identify emotions, reflection provides emotional vocabulary and insight.

Levels of Feeling Reflection

Reflection can occur at different levels:

• • Surface feelings: Clearly expressed emotions (e.g., sadness, anger)
  • Deeper feelings: Underlying emotions not explicitly stated (e.g., fear, shame)

Accurate reflection requires careful listening and sensitivity. Overinterpretation should be avoided, especially with vulnerable clients (Capuzzi & Gross, 2008).

3. Listening Mistakes

Despite good intentions, counsellors may fall into common listening traps that hinder communication.

Common Listening Mistakes

1. 1. Interrupting – Cutting off clients before they finish speaking
   2. Advising Too Quickly – Offering solutions prematurely
   3. Judging or Criticizing – Expressing approval or disapproval
   4. Selective Listening – Focusing only on certain parts of the message
   5. Over-Questioning – Turning the session into an interrogation
   6. Minimizing Feelings – Dismissing or downplaying emotions

According to Gladding (2014), such mistakes can reduce trust and inhibit self-disclosure.

Impact of Listening Mistakes

Listening mistakes may:

• • Create resistance
  • Reduce client confidence
  • Disrupt emotional expression
  • Damage the therapeutic relationship

Awareness and self-reflection help counsellors recognize and correct these mistakes.

4. Summarizing Skills

Summarizing involves condensing and organizing key points from the client’s communication over a period of time. Unlike paraphrasing, which focuses on brief segments, summarizing integrates themes, emotions, and progress (Nelson-Jones, 2000).

Summaries are commonly used at:

• • The end of a session
  • Transitions between topics
  • Review points during counselling

Purposes of Summarizing

Summarizing helps to:

• • Organize complex information
  • Highlight patterns and themes
  • Reinforce progress and insights
  • Prepare for goal-setting and action planning

Summaries provide clients with a coherent picture of their concerns and achievements (Gibson & Mitchell, 2003).

Guidelines for Effective Summarizing

Effective summaries should:

• • Be clear and concise
  • Reflect both content and feelings
  • Use neutral and respectful language
  • Invite client correction or feedback

For example:
“Today we talked about the stress you feel balancing work and family, your fear of disappointing others, and your desire to set healthier boundaries.”

Developmental and Ethical Considerations

Children require simple language and shorter summaries, while adolescents benefit from collaborative summarizing that respects autonomy (Berk, 2003; Papalia et al., 2004). Ethically, counsellors must avoid distortion and ensure that summaries accurately reflect the client’s experiences (Kottler & Shepard, 2008).

Integration of Responding Skills

Paraphrasing, reflecting feelings, and summarizing work together to create effective counselling responses. These skills demonstrate understanding, encourage insight, and guide the counselling process. Nelson-Jones (2000) emphasizes that responding skills should be used flexibly and authentically rather than mechanically.

Conclusion

Paraphrasing, reflecting feelings, and summarizing are essential counselling skills that enhance understanding, empathy, and clarity. Awareness of common listening mistakes further strengthens the counsellor’s effectiveness. When used appropriately, these skills create a supportive environment in which clients feel heard, validated, and empowered to explore their experiences and move toward positive change.

References

Berk, L. E. (2003). Child development (6th ed.). Prentice Hall of India.
Capuzzi, D., & Gross, D. R. (2008). Counseling and psychotherapy. Pearson Education.
Gelso, C. J., & Fretz, B. R. (1995). Counselling psychology. Prism Books.
Gibson, R. L., & Mitchell, M. H. (2003). Introduction to counselling and guidance. Pearson Education.
Gladding, S. T. (2014). Counselling: A comprehensive profession. Pearson Education.
Kottler, J. A., & Shepard, D. S. (2008). Counselling theory and practices. Cengage Learning.
Nelson-Jones, R. (2000). Introduction to counselling skills. Sage Publications.
Papalia, D. E., Olds, S. W., & Feldman, R. D. (2004). Human development. Tata McGraw-Hill.